Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
