did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
