I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
