I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
