I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
