I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
