Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
