...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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