god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
