i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
