I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
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My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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