So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we should paint friendship bongs
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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