like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
