My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
