I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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