I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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