i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
