Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
