I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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