You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
