we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize