I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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