I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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