the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
