Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
