wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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