He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
