it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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