So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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