It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
