I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
