sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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