I puked a lego.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
