Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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