She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
