Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.

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(443): View more from Maryland

His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.

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(310): View more from California

Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad

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(845): View more from New York

Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign

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