Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
