Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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