i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize