Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
