My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
