he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
