I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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