they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
