Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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