So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
