Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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