This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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