FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
