K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
