Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?