i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
