please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
