so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
