He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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