True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
