I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
