Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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