Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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