her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
