Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
