Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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