Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...