What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?