Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

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  (443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6
  Replies (24) Good night (1189) Bad night (2836)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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  (603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm
  Replies (24) Good night (1736) Bad night (3465)
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  (914): View more from New York

  still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

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  (914): still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay. http://tfl.nu/4bqn
  Replies (12) Good night (1605) Bad night (4467)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants

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  (903): So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants http://tfl.nu/066x
  Replies (12) Good night (3179) Bad night (1136)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was

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  (201): at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was http://tfl.nu/89k6
  Replies (21) Good night (3271) Bad night (1157)
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  (408): View more from California

  I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.

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  (408): I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation. http://tfl.nu/jzil
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (755)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I have got to meet this girl.

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  (860): she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW (1-860): I have got to meet this girl. http://tfl.nu/ejln
  Replies (7) Good night (2139) Bad night (489)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?

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  (231): Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often? http://tfl.nu/yhxm
  Replies (4) Good night (1661) Bad night (541)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water

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  (801): He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water http://tfl.nu/etec
  Replies (6) Good night (734) Bad night (685)
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  (619): View more from California

  Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

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  (619): Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it http://tfl.nu/st9u
  Replies (5) Good night (1023) Bad night (460)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.

  (1-807): View more from Ontario

  I don't see the problem

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  (807): My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive. (1-807): I don't see the problem http://tfl.nu/s96d
  Replies (5) Good night (1540) Bad night (475)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.

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  (804): If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks. http://tfl.nu/t0d1
  Replies (25) Good night (685) Bad night (878)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.

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  (404): Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up. http://tfl.nu/ge7g
  Replies (4) Good night (383) Bad night (774)
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  (323): View more from California

  How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?

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  (323): How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30? http://tfl.nu/e1i6
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (294)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.

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  (817): My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt. http://tfl.nu/g54s
  Replies (3) Good night (532) Bad night (183)

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