PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
