i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
